You should hate me.
I mean it.
Hate me...
Please.
All those things I did.
Everything I said.
The ways I hurt you.
The ways I left you.
You lost me.
Sometimes you lost me.
I'm here now.
But you should hate me.
And now this.
Now all of this.
You can't forgive me...
I know.
So hate me.
Hate how I feel.
And maybe it will happen.
Maybe it won't.
Maybe...
You'll hate me forever.
Maybe...
I won't be the one you want.
But maybe...
You'll forgive me.
The point,
There is none.
I can't forget about it.
Listen hun.
Hear the emptiness,
Of this life.
There's nothing to do,
But live in strife.
I can't exist,
I can't just exist.
I need to live,
Not just be pissed.
The rage builds,
And my hopes fray.
Please my dear,
Take this all away.
I ran.
I ran out of words.
I ran out of time.
I ran out of patience.
I ran out of luck.
I ran out of this...
Whatever this is.
Whatever anything is.
I'll keep running.
You may see me again.
When I find myself.
When I finally stop running.
Just please...
Don't run after me.
Smile For Some Reason (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Smile For Some Reason (Prompt)
Oh I smile and smile,
As the kids play on the swing,
I'm not sure why,
At least not at first.
I smile and smile,
Deliciously,
Teeth bared,
In my canine mouth.
I smile and smile,
That alligator smile,
Schadenfreude here and there,
As the fire starts everywhere.
I smile and smile,
I can't help but smile,
When the world is ending,
To my phoenix fire.
The Boy, The Girl and The Train by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
The Boy, The Girl and The Train
He couldn’t find it,
So he left.
He lost it all,
So he gave more away.
He hurt,
So he cut.
His body broke,
So he ran.
They hated it,
So he changed.
She had found it,
So she lost it.
She found him,
So she hit him.
She was scared,
So she ran.
The train,
The pain.
So fast,
So easy.
Selfish?
Or too damaged?
She was gone,
He was gone.
"Don't fuck it up."
Too late.
"You didn't have to."
I couldn't stop it.
"It's over now."
I know, I know,
It was my fault.
"You never help."
I couldn't do anything.
"You didn't try."
I did.
But I failed.
"Don't cry."
Why?
"Don't be weak."
I am.
"Then leave."
But the people.
"Would do better without you."
One mistake...
"That's all it takes."
This Darkness, Your Darkness (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
This Darkness, Your Darkness (Prompt)
I am the darkness,
The opposite to you,
Your light may shine upon me,
But it is never enough
To expel my darkness,
This dark love I feel for you,
But you love me,
And it...
As it brings you pleasant sleep,
And wondrous dreams.
Why would you destroy
What you desire?
Motivation or Lack Thereof by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Motivation or Lack Thereof
Drive me dear mind!
Show me the path!
Lead me along!
Maybe not.
Just stall on me.
And leave for gas.
Run with me muse!
Teach me your ways!
Show me the secrets!
Or don't.
Run away from me.
Make me lose my motivation.
Come hither little fox, sit on my lap,
Drink from my fountain, of eternal spring,
Don't be afraid dear kitsune, fill your heart with grace,
Be thankful young one, or perhaps you are old,
Sleep where you want, in my house of dreams,
This place is mine, but also yours,
Lie with me now fox, the company to my mind,
Fox of muse, fox of life.
Keys and Light (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Keys and Light (Prompt)
I was a key,
A way to open,
Someone's mind,
I'd let them see,
Their true emotion.
Then I was a light switch,
So people could see,
Even in that dark place,
Of their mind.
But they were all I was,
Nothing more,
Than a tool to be used,
At least that's how I felt.
Now I'm a light,
For someone else,
I guide him through,
His past and present,
I to the future,
That contains us both.
And...
I love it.
You should hate me.
I mean it.
Hate me...
Please.
All those things I did.
Everything I said.
The ways I hurt you.
The ways I left you.
You lost me.
Sometimes you lost me.
I'm here now.
But you should hate me.
And now this.
Now all of this.
You can't forgive me...
I know.
So hate me.
Hate how I feel.
And maybe it will happen.
Maybe it won't.
Maybe...
You'll hate me forever.
Maybe...
I won't be the one you want.
But maybe...
You'll forgive me.
The point,
There is none.
I can't forget about it.
Listen hun.
Hear the emptiness,
Of this life.
There's nothing to do,
But live in strife.
I can't exist,
I can't just exist.
I need to live,
Not just be pissed.
The rage builds,
And my hopes fray.
Please my dear,
Take this all away.
I ran.
I ran out of words.
I ran out of time.
I ran out of patience.
I ran out of luck.
I ran out of this...
Whatever this is.
Whatever anything is.
I'll keep running.
You may see me again.
When I find myself.
When I finally stop running.
Just please...
Don't run after me.
Smile For Some Reason (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Smile For Some Reason (Prompt)
Oh I smile and smile,
As the kids play on the swing,
I'm not sure why,
At least not at first.
I smile and smile,
Deliciously,
Teeth bared,
In my canine mouth.
I smile and smile,
That alligator smile,
Schadenfreude here and there,
As the fire starts everywhere.
I smile and smile,
I can't help but smile,
When the world is ending,
To my phoenix fire.
The Boy, The Girl and The Train by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
The Boy, The Girl and The Train
He couldn’t find it,
So he left.
He lost it all,
So he gave more away.
He hurt,
So he cut.
His body broke,
So he ran.
They hated it,
So he changed.
She had found it,
So she lost it.
She found him,
So she hit him.
She was scared,
So she ran.
The train,
The pain.
So fast,
So easy.
Selfish?
Or too damaged?
She was gone,
He was gone.
"Don't fuck it up."
Too late.
"You didn't have to."
I couldn't stop it.
"It's over now."
I know, I know,
It was my fault.
"You never help."
I couldn't do anything.
"You didn't try."
I did.
But I failed.
"Don't cry."
Why?
"Don't be weak."
I am.
"Then leave."
But the people.
"Would do better without you."
One mistake...
"That's all it takes."
This Darkness, Your Darkness (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
This Darkness, Your Darkness (Prompt)
I am the darkness,
The opposite to you,
Your light may shine upon me,
But it is never enough
To expel my darkness,
This dark love I feel for you,
But you love me,
And it...
As it brings you pleasant sleep,
And wondrous dreams.
Why would you destroy
What you desire?
Motivation or Lack Thereof by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Motivation or Lack Thereof
Drive me dear mind!
Show me the path!
Lead me along!
Maybe not.
Just stall on me.
And leave for gas.
Run with me muse!
Teach me your ways!
Show me the secrets!
Or don't.
Run away from me.
Make me lose my motivation.
Come hither little fox, sit on my lap,
Drink from my fountain, of eternal spring,
Don't be afraid dear kitsune, fill your heart with grace,
Be thankful young one, or perhaps you are old,
Sleep where you want, in my house of dreams,
This place is mine, but also yours,
Lie with me now fox, the company to my mind,
Fox of muse, fox of life.
Keys and Light (Prompt) by PsychosisIsReal, literature
Literature
Keys and Light (Prompt)
I was a key,
A way to open,
Someone's mind,
I'd let them see,
Their true emotion.
Then I was a light switch,
So people could see,
Even in that dark place,
Of their mind.
But they were all I was,
Nothing more,
Than a tool to be used,
At least that's how I felt.
Now I'm a light,
For someone else,
I guide him through,
His past and present,
I to the future,
That contains us both.
And...
I love it.
I guess at the time
I forgot where I was going
I got sidetracked
Distracted by something shiny
But nothing real
So lost in the moment
In the desperation to be young
I realised too late
That's not who I was meant to be
I want to go back
Back to my solitude
When I was content
But time only goes one way
I remember now where I want to go
Only now it is too far off
Blood
Means nothing
However family
Means everything
It means one doesn’t abandon
Their father, mother or siblings
Families stand together
Even in when facing down the army of hell
No one is forgotten or left behind
Your split visage
accepts me so gorgeously.
With your eyes reflecting adoring,
yet gracious,
denial
and your smile bravely connecting
the words to heart.
Take it.
You deserve nothing less
and I am blessed to
know the smooth and clunky
spectacle of a person
you so lovingly are.
Take it.
The growl of the anxious
the depressed
the hesitant
the self-roasting
and
feel it bubble wrap
the gentle muffle
of the price popping within.
Take it.
Savour the sweeteners
that are the
undeniable
truths in your window panes
and where I sit
at your windowsill
is the paper weight
of reminders.
Take it.
Repetitiveness of the hypocritically close
loves
I s
Clocks And Rollercoasters by HalleyAmbers, literature
Literature
Clocks And Rollercoasters
Clocks and rollercoasters
Order and horses
From which I never fell,
I am a runner myself
Stuck between reality
And the looking glass
Reflecting all my past
Has made me one
I'm a reflection
Of fears and black knights
Of broken tales and past fights
I'm a collection
Of hopes and bright skies
Of projects and free smiles
Pick one, and you'll find
The way I'll feel tonight
Found you
For a few days
Now you're gone
She's still in the hallway
She's still sad
I will be back
You will be here
But the clock is ticking
And waiting is no different
No different than tearing up
Because of a steel pin
In your wrists
In the morning
Touching the mirror
Gives me shivers
Your fingers are so cold
And distant
It all always comes back to you
It wasn't because of the words
You had spoken,
When you laid your head down.
I was lying there,
With my eyes closed,
And your silence was too loud for me to sleep.
I thought it might cut me
To get to close to you.
And in that strange moment,
All I could think about
Was the time you first asked me
My name.
How you had broken the still
Quiet of the room
With your voice.
And how my own
Echoed back like ripples
Inside my head,
Disturbing the waters of my solitude
Where I treaded,
Sounding unfamiliar on my tongue.
I'll never forget how unsure of myself I felt,
So I laughed,
Because,
Who startles at their own name?
Now that I lie here at
Left or right
Earth or Dreams
Head or Empty mind
You damn black hole
Burning my house down
Sucking my grey matter away
Hate and love you like
Sex and cuddles
Stop robbing me of
my sleep
Who knows what it'll be
Of me
Hi everyone.
I wish I could be all cheery and say that I will be posting stuff soon, but honestly, I can't. Things are tough, very tough and there's nothing I can do about it. Things are moving quickly and a lot of the time I'm just trying to keep up.
As some of you know, I have a choice to make, one that will change everything. And I honestly don't know what to choose, no one can help me make it and no one can make it for me.
So, I'll keep this short. I'm going to go for a while, I don't know when I'll be back, if ever. I've met some good people on here, and I know you might want to help but this is not something that can be helped. I hav
I can't quite believe it's been 6 months since I joined! It feels like only yesterday! I've met some wonderful people and read some amazing work, I haven't met anyone I haven't liked on here or who has been mean to me. And that's really good seeing as I have a fair amount of stuff I'm going through. (But I know a lot of the people on here are as well).
I'd like to thank all the people who watch me and have encouraged me to keep writing! And to say that I'm going to keep posting! You are all so lovely! :heart:
Have a good one y'all!
~Jenny
Having another one of my can't sleep nights.
First of all! (For those who are interested) I have finally got an appointment to see a Gender Dysphoria specialist!
Now onto my rambling!
I like names, I don't really know why but names have such a big meaning to me, not just names for people but names for things. And I don't mean stupid names like a string of digits or letters like some stars. I always have to give a name to my poems. I hate leaving them as intitled or just having the date, don't get me wrong, it doesn't annoy me so much when other people do it (although I must admit that I'm less likely to read it as it jist doesnt attract my
I'm sorry to hear that, I'm sure you're really busy with full-on things! Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out well Jenny. I am great, thank you!